Wednesday, August 08, 2007

Emotional Roller Coaster

So I saw this maternity shirt tonight at K-Mart that said something to the effect of "Don't blame me, I'm just having a hormonal moment." Yeah... I definitely should have been wearing that one today. I was driving myself insane with the ups and downs I was feeling today. It was seriously out of control- my poor husband and daughter!

Ok... let's start off with one of the ups. I met my goal and finished reading The Book of Mormon today. Wahoo! I cannot express how much I love that book and of my testimony of it's truthfulness and power to bring such joy and happiness. The picture to the left is my Book of Mormon bookmarks from the last 4 times I've read the Book of Mormon. The colored blocks each represent one chapter and you color it in once you've read that chapter. The blue ones are days that I read those chapters on the planned day consecutively. The red ones are days I was behind and the pink ones are days I was ahead. Anyway I always try to have a bookmark full of all blue meaning that I read the whole Book of Mormon consecutively without missing any days. Hopefully this next time I'll be posting a picture with an all blue bookmark. Anyway the verse that stuck out to me the most was Moroni 10:32.
"32 Yea, come unto Christ, and be perfected in him, and deny yourselves of all ungodliness; and if ye shall deny yourselves of all ungodliness, and love God with all your might, mind and strength, then is his grace sufficient for you, that by his grace ye may be perfect in Christ; and if by the grace of God ye are perfect in Christ, ye can in nowise deny the power of God."
I really want to focus on the part of denyin myself of all ungodliness, especially emtionally wise. I am also so excited to start fresh with reading The BOM tomorrow. My goal is to read 2 chapters a day and finish up on December 6th- just before Bubba is born. I love starting in August because it reminds me of Pres. Hinckley's challenge to read the Book of Mormon by the end of the year in August of '05. This is what he said:
"I offer a challenge to members of the Church throughout the world and to our friends everywhere to read or reread the Book of Mormon. If you will read a bit more than one and one-half chapters a day, you will be able to finish the book before the end of this year. Very near the end of its 239 chapters, you will find a challenge issued by the prophet Moroni as he completed his record nearly 16 centuries ago. Said he:
“And I exhort you to remember these things; for the time speedily cometh that ye shall know that I lie not, for ye shall see me at the bar of God; and the Lord God will say unto you: Did I not declare my words unto you, which were written by this man, like as one crying from the dead, yea, even as one speaking out of the dust? …

“And God shall show unto you, that that which I have written is true” (Moro. 10:27, 29).

Without reservation I promise you that if each of you will observe this simple program, regardless of how many times you previously may have read the Book of Mormon, there will come into your lives and into your homes an added measure of the Spirit of the Lord, a strengthened resolution to walk in obedience to His commandments, and a stronger testimony of the living reality of the Son of God."

Who doesn't want to have those 3 promises, to have more of the Spirit in our homes, a stronger resolution to be obedient and a stronger testimony of Christ? I sure want those promises. And I want to make a challenge to anyone who hasn't read the Book of Mormon or developed a personal testimony of its truthfulness to take on Pres. Hinckely's challenge. And I encourage you to begin your reading with this scripture in mind from Moroni 10.
"3 Behold, I would exhort you that when ye shall read these things, if it be wisdom in God that ye should read them, that ye would remember how merciful the Lord hath been unto the children of men, from the creation of Adam even down until the time that ye shall receive these things, and ponder it in your hearts.
4 And when ye shall receive these things, I would exhort you that ye would ask God, the Eternal Father, in the name of Christ, if these things are not true; and if ye shall ask with a sincere heart, with real intent, having faith in Christ, he will manifest the truth of it unto you, by the power of the Holy Ghost.
5 And by the power of the Holy Ghost ye may know the truth of all things."

Another "up" I had today was going to lunch with my niece Emely. We went to Chipotle and it was delicioso! They have the best burritos there. Baily enjoyed a side of chicken and a side of black beans. The girl loves chicken and black beans. I'm so glad she's not a picky eater and likes healthy food. I hope I'm as lucky with Bubba!

Ok now for one of the downs. For some reason I have been super tired and just feeling weak today. That doesn't make for a lot of patience with my sweet little girl. Although she wasn't a monster child today she wasn't the angel that graced my presence yesterday. I think maybe she was on an emotional roller coaster as well. This evening we went with Robert and Cande to K-Mart. I was tired as it was. When Baily decided she wasn't going to sit nicely in the care I let her walk with me to go look at some clothes. On our way back to where Robert and Cande were she decided she needed to be carried. I couldn't do it- I was too tired and weak. So as I was trying to make her walk she sat right down in the middle of an aisle and would not budge. Robert had to go and get her. She calmed down a little bit after that but it really got my blood boiling. We mangaged to find a slip & slide on clearance for like $5 which was a score. As soon as Baily saw it she got all excited and it was motivation for her to behave for the rest of the store trip. As soon as we got home I put her in her Lil' Swimmers and swim suit and we headed outside to play on the new slip & slide. Robert also got her a new watergun that she played with for like 5 seconds. Robert left me and her out there. After about 5 minutes or so she started getting a little restless. Before I knew it she was having an all out tantrum. Well I could not handle it. Robert was out back and couldn't hear me so I brought Baily in, put her in her room and went in my room and lost it. I cried, I threw Robert's socks and felt like the worst mother ever. After I prayed my heart out to please be able to calm down and never get mad like that again I held my sobbing baby and we cried together. Then we had a heart to heart. I told her that mommy was having a bad day and that I was so sorry for yelling at her. Then the sweetest thing happened that I will never forget. She looked up at me and said so clearly "sorry mommy, I love you." After that it was a waterfall of tears. I'm so blessed to have such a sweet and naughty girl who's teaching me so much.

I guess that was really my only "down" for the day but it was so big it felt liek a bunch of "downs." But at least it ended up in an "up." The rest of the night went pretty smoothly. We had a really good dinner of steak, baked potato and corn on the cob. Baily ate 2 whole cobs by herself. She really loves corn. After that we got ready for bed. We had family prayer and scriptures early because Robert went to play basketball at the church. After he left we had a nice quiet evening. Baily turned back into a sweet little angel and I turned back into a nice, calm mom. Baily enjoyed reading some books and giving me a concert on her little piano. After that we watched half of her "Little Mermaid" DVD. Let's just hope tomorrow is better and I don't have any more horrible "hormonal moments." I do need to go back to K-Mart though and get that shirt to have on had just in case. Thank heavens for prayer is all I have to say!

1 comment:

Cordova Family said...

No wonder you're tired, look what you did the day before!! laundry is draing for some reason. A vicious cycle!! I hope today is going better for you!!