Anxiety on a warm sunshiney day.

Yesterday went pretty well but nothing at all how I planned. I admit and realize that I have a major issue with self-discipline and acting and following through on plans and goals I make for myself and I've got to get better with that. Like yesterday I planned on running early, going to the temple by myself in the morning and as a date later in the evening. Well none of that happened. I'm going to work on this and do better- I promise. But despite this yesterday was still a pretty good day. Robert, the kids, my MIL and I left early to go look at a house we saw listed on craigslist to rent. It was way out in Maricopa which I'd never been to before. It's about 35 minutes from where we live now and only about 5-10 minutes more of a drive for Robert to get to work from where we're at now. It just seems like a lot farther out because the on the drive out there there's nothing... it's all flat desert. Well the house was pretty nice and the owner was really nice. I really think we have a good chance of getting it and we'll know for sure tomorrow if we did or not. There's no deposit and it's really cheap rent which is why we decided to go for it even though it's way out in the boonies. It's not as big as I'd like and I'm not crazy about the layout (there's no dining room and the closets are small) but it's clean and pretty new and it would be our own home... as in only us living there. It will be a big change and I'm pretty freaked out that there's no Wal-Mart there (we all know my obsession with Wal-Mart) but it's only like 15 min. away in Chandler. Plus Robert will have his own car so I'll still be able to come into the city when I need to. I totally plan on still coming to park day and to my girl's lunches and what not. I have to or I'd go crazy. So I'm excited but sad at the same time. It's very bittersweet. It will be GREAT to be on our own in our own place but man oh man am I gonna miss my ward and my friends. It'll be all good though- I'll only be 40 min. or so away- it's not like it's hours away. The thing is, if we get the house we'll be moving out by Saturday. Talk about crazy. That's only week to prepare for a big move. But the thought of being on our own in as little as a week excites me like no other. Even then I had a pretty anxious feeling all the rest of the day thinking about it all. Anyway, after we left from looking at the house we went and ate breakfast at Village Inn. It wasn't exactly peaceful since Baily was pretty naughty and Joaquin was pretty fussy but it was good anyway. On our way home we found out that the cousin's birthday party we planned on going to that day was cancelled. We decided to go with just Robert's family to the park anyway since it was such a nice day. And by nice day I mean it was 81 degrees. Sa-weet. I loved it- it was perfect! After we got home from our little trip we hung out at home for a while and were just chilling. I felt yucky about not running and I didn't eat clean or as planned at all but I didn't feel like beating myself up about it. Later on we went to the park and met Robert's family there. We had KFC and my MIL's quacamole tostadas and it was yummy. After we ate we just enjoyed the park and the perfect weather. The little ones played on the playground, the girls chatted it up and the boys played some football. It was good times. After we got home it was just a lazy Saturday the rest of the day. Robert and I were finally able to watch our episode of Lost that we recorded. It was good but frustrating at the same time because, as in true Lost fashion, no questions were answered and a ton more were created. I guess that's how they keep us hooked and make their money. After everyone was pretty much asleep I ended up watching the movie Sling Blade on tv. My confession is that it is rated R and it wasn't on a channel that edited it. I gave up watching rated R movies a long time ago and even though I knew I shouldn't watch it I did anyway. I remembered seeing it a long time ago and that it was one of my mom's favorite movies. It has a good story line but way too much unneccesary language and it's pretty dark. After I watched it I felt awful and it was so not worth the guilt. I won't be making that mistake again. I know better than that- shame on me. After that I wasted time surfing the net and then I finally crashed. It wasn't a bad day but I should have been more productive and followed through on my plans and goals. I will do better.

366 Blessings:

#40- Baily's smile.