"I found it! I found the label that fits me exactly! I am a "discouraged perfectionist". What is a discouraged perfectionist? Well, in our Bible Study on parenting last night we spent time covering a book about birth order. In the book, they suggest that 'only children' and 'oldest children' will likely fall into the trap of "discouraged perfectionist" because they realize that they aren't perfect...which isn't acceptable to them...and so instead of not being perfect they just won't try. The book suggested that the discouraged perfectionist would live in a mess, have a life that was unorganized, appear to be flaky, and wait until the last possible second to do work. All of that is me. I found it rather refreshing to have a name to put with my issues!"
It's either all or nothing with me and I can't keep living this way. When I'm on, life is great. I'm an awesome mom, wife, friend, LDS member and so on and so forth. But when I'm off, I'm OFF! I get so discouraged and caught up in self-pity and guilt that I shut off from pretty much all my responsibility and everyone around me. As I've thought about times in my past when I've been depressed I can always relate it to guilt for not being the perfect person I should be and living up to the potential I know I have. I know I've got gifts and talents but if I can't execute them perfectly, I feel they're useless in my warped little mind. When I get like this my house gets messy, my kids don't get as much attention as they deserve, my husband doesn't get the care and love and attention he deserves, everything seems to fall apart. Why am I like this?! I seriously need help. My husband, kids, family and I deserve better. Any suggestions?! (So needless to say, Wednesday was not a very good day.)
366 Blessings:
#282- Joaquin's sweet, dimply cheekies!

2 comments:
Cutest cheeks I've ever seen!! Welcome to being a woman!! We have good days we have bad days...lazy days, busy days, happy days, pissy days, you name it!! If you really think it's a problem though...they make happy pills!! Ain't no harm in that!
Hi Sarah- I learned not to set goals-then I don't get disappointed. Ha ha! No, I still set goals, just not as many and none that might be a little unreasonable. It's worked great for me!
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