Monday, December 17, 2007

Ouch, Ow, Oooh...

So yesterday was a rough day for me and I think everything just caught up to me at once. The hormones, the pain, the changes... everything. The morning wasn't too bad. Most of my family were all at my house visiting and that was nice. Rachelle and Gerald made a really good breakfast and we just relaxed and visited before everyone went home. Robert and Baily went to Robert's sisters house to celebrate Christmas with his family while Thomas, his brother-in-law, is home from Afghanistan. I'm glad they got to go and Baily got to go play with her cousins for a while. She really needed to get out and play and have fun for a bit. So after everyone left and it was just me and my boy I lost it a little bit. I was in major pain from the surgery and from nursing. I had remembered when I nursed Baily how horrible the pain was and up until yesterday was grateful that I wasn't having pain with Joaquin. Well so much for that. Apparently I still get to experience crying and curling my toes in pain each time he latches on to nurse. Joy. Then on top of the pain my emotions were out of control. I started missing my mom like crazy and was so sad that she hasn't been able to hold and squeeze my sweet little boy yet. After all the crying and pain I was completely wiped out and took a much needed nap. When I woke up Robert and Baily were on their way home and I was grateful they didn't stay too long. I was also feeling sad about how much I miss all the one on one time with my Bug and how I was already feeling a little bit less of a bond with her. She seems even more grown up now and now that there's a new baby I've been slapped hard in the face that she's not a little baby any more. But no matter what she'll always, always be my baby girl. I love her so much! She really is such a sweetheart and I'm just so proud of how well she's handling all this change and how great of a sister she is! We had another delicious dinner brought into us which we enjoyed together and I was able to calm down a little bit. It was a rough day but we got through it and I still ended up being overwhelmed with gratitude for my family and my many blessings at the end of the day.

2 comments:

Emily Loria said...

Sorry you had such a rough day! Things will calm down a bit. Give it a few weeks and you will be a pro!

Malissa said...

Oh, I can still recall the curling of toes at feeding time! I don't miss that quite yet!! Bailey probablky seems big now, but in a few years you'll look back and say, omg, I can't beleive how cute and little she still was when we had Joaquin!! At least that's what I do with Kinzee and Ty!! Even Ty and Jaxx, and they were 4 years apart!! The baby of the family always seems to "grow up" when the new baby is born, but really they don't, we're just comparing them to the new teeny tiny baby!! Your kids are so cute!!