Sunday, September 16, 2007

A Tough Day

I hate to say it but I've really had a tough day today. It started this morning with someone confronting me about something I did unintentionally that made them mad. I was really offended and a little upset. I didn't want it to blow up so I came in the room prayed and read scriptures to try and get rid of the bad feelings and get some good, Sabbath day and Spirit-filled feelings instead. I didn't blow up which is good but I didn't feel much better either.

I almost felt like not going to church but I'm so glad that I did. I love the feeling I have when I take the Sacrament and the Spirit it brings to me. It was a little
difficult to sit through Sacrament meeting though because I was so uncomfortable and had a hard time breathing. Bubba was just in a really uncomfortable position. I felt fine after that though and really enjoyed the rest of church. After we got home Robert's mom and sister took Baily with them to Peter Piper Pizza. I'm sure she had fun but I was kinda bummed because I really wanted to hang out and chill with her today without any interruptions. Robert was glued to his football game that he had recorded so I did some stuff on the computer and read a couple of things. (BTW... how do you like my new layout?)

After Baily got home and the game was over everyone (Robert's family) was outside just visiting. I went out there and I felt like the biggest outcast. I felt tension and no one talked to me at all. I felt like I was even being shunned by Baily which really, really hurt my feelings. She feel off of her tricycle and cut her lip and after I wiped it off she only wanted her Abuela. She got mad if I even looked at her. When I tried to pick her up and she screamed at me I came in the house, went to my bathroom and just cried. Robert and Baily are out there with them right now and I feel so left out. It's times like these when I feel so lonely and miss my mom and just being around any of my family so much. I would give anything to just be able to go over to my mom's house and just talk. I miss her so much. I wish I had my brothers or any of parents close by. It's just hard sometimes. Ok- sorry for the pity party. I just had to vent a little. Hopefully the evening will get better. This week shouldn't be as busy as last week which should make things not as crazy around here. Have a good night everyone!


Cordova Family said...

I love your new layout!! And I especially love the header and your slide show!! Thos epictures are so great!! Who did them!!??

Cordova Family said...

I'm sorry you had a rotten day yesterday..I hope today is better for me if you need to vent anytime!

Beau said...

Hey Sister soldier. And by soldier I mean you are a trooper! The way you discribed it your day just seemed terrible, I can't imagine your own child making you feel like an outcast. but you know what? Its days like those that makes most other days seem like heaven...almost. Anywho,..I love you Sis! Ciao!

eeyore1982 said...

Hey Sarah. I'm sorry you had a crappy day yesterday. I sure hope today is better! I wish that we lived close because I wouldn't mind haveing you over during times like that. I feel that way too sometimes. I love you Cuz!

Anonymous said...

Hi Sarah!
Wow. I just read your Sunday (16th) blog and I SO feel for you! I read some of your other posts as well and I just had to write and tell you how much I love you! I started crying as well when I read how crazy some of your days were, and your "to do list"?? Oh crap. I sincerely hope you get it all done, but if you don't, don't beat yourself up too much. I went VTing yesterday as well, and after a really tense and frustrating month, this Sept. message really hit the spot for me. Heavenly Father knows what a struggle it is to find that balance in ourselves, what with all we have to do and want to do, (and being pregnant on top of all that!!) and He gives us time and understanding as we work through it all. (I am so glad, because I was feeling like a total failure this month!!) It was a very good message for me.
So, about that "licking" thing. You didn't mention it again, so I hope the Bug has moved on from it, but I have to tell you, Afton went through the same thing. She would just come up and start licking my elbows or my knees or my hands or Grandma's elbows.....argh!!! She got over it too. But all of my kids have a "thing" that they do. Aryn digs my "g"s out from where they are tucked in, she will even go up my shirt sleeve to get them so she can rub the lace while she snuggles. Ari likes to pinch the skin around my neck, and Afton is obsessed with elbows. She seriously cannot leave them alone. She puts her thumb in her mouth (yes, she got that from my side, I am sure) and runs for the nearest elbow. It doesn't matter what you are doing...typing, dishes, sewing...she will follow you around trying to rub your elbow skin. You can even ask Farrin. She won't leave his alone either! Then Amry, our 15mth old, she is into my hair. If she can't run her fingers and toes through my hair while I am trying to get her to go to sleep, then she doesn't go to sleep. I keep threating to cut my hair short, but I don't know that I am up to the challenge of "hair withdrawal". I guess we pick our battles, eh? So all in all, when I put the kids to bed and they all want mom to lay by them for a minute, I come out of it like a cat that has been thrown in a pond...all bent out of shape, spitting and screaming "Stop touching me!!!" (there might be a little hissing as well, but I try to keep that to a minimum.) :)
Then I climb into my own bed and there is someone else trying to touch me....Seriously I am so glad that you think your hubby is still hot. :) Right now, for me, I don't even know how to write a sentence with "hot hubby" and "four kids" in it.

Well, since I started this little comment, I have taken Ari to the Dr's, to the hospital, and went to school with her today. I was thinking that I wouldn't even get to finish this, but I am now, so I am glad. Ari is ok, but she is way behind in her development. Today at school was the first time I had actually noticed how little she is. All of her classmates lined up against the wall and she is literally 12 inches shorter than the shortest kid in her class. No wonder my dad thinks she might have a dwarfism gene! She is the size of a 3yr old. I know because Afton is 3 and has bigger feet than Ari, though Ari is about 2 inches taller.
She is very smart though. That part doesn't seem to be lacking. :)
Well, I am going to let you go. Keep posting! I love you!

Your Cuz,