Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Time Really Does Heal

It's amazing how time really does heal wounds and can change your whole perspective. Sunday night, as I said, was really hard for me and I fell asleep with all sorts of negative emotions and thoughts about revenge and stupid stuff like that. When I woke up yesterday I just prayed my heart out to have a better day and to have strength and control over my emotions and actions. What a difference one day's worth of time can make. Yesterday started out a little bumpy but ended wonderfully. I spent most of the day getting the tornado of our house cleaned up and doing laundry. I really think there's a weekend tornado that hits our house every week or something because Monday's are crazy with cleaning for me. Baily was in a good mood for most of the day which always helps. Mya was not happy at all and mostly wanted to just sleep all day. I wasn't feeling very well. I think the iron pills I'm taking are helping me with the anemia issues a little but now my stomach is always upset and I'm feeling nauseous a lot. I don't know which is worse. I got a letter from my mom yesterday that had my sobbing from beginning to end. It brought something to my attention that broke my heart but then she talked about the miracles she experienced during General Conference and I was very spiritually touched by it. If any of you need good miracle or General Conference stories let me know. My dear husband treated me like a princess when he got home from work yesterday. He truly is so wonderful and amazing and I love him so much. After the way I acted on Sunday night you would think he would be frustrated and mad at me and I would be the one having to gravel at his feet. He teaches me what true love and compassion are all the time by the way he's so understanding and forgiving of me. He knew I was having a hard day on Sunday and earlier yesterday and he was so sweet and loving to me and that made all the difference in the world to me. He took away my guilt and made me feel loved and appreciated. I'm so blessed to have such a wonderful husband. Ok, ok... enough of the mushy stuff. After a nice home-cooked meal (it had been way too long since I cooked) we had a short but nice FHE. We read the article "The Football Game that Changed My Life" from the Octobert Ensign and made a family challenge to be more aware of missionary opportunities and invite people to sporting events or recreational activities we enjoy and then talked about specific people we had in mind. Then we went outside with Robert's family and just enjoyed visiting and laughing. It was nice and relaxing. We had delicioso brownies for our treat. Like I said... the cooking and baking I do from now until I'm recovered from the baby might seem a little boring and easy but oh well. I'm 8 1/2 months pregnant and I can take the easy way if I want to! After we got ready for bed and read scriptures and had family prayer there was such a strong Spirit of love and peace in our home... like night and day from the night before. I don't even remember what it was about but Robert and I were laughing so hard last night. I don't remember the last time I laughed so hard and it felt so good... like literal medicine for my soul. I'm so grateful for prayer and the healing of time and laughter and the best husband I could ever have!

3 comments:

Tamie said...

hang in there!!!! you're doing great (and it is ok to blame it all on hormones....)
i know how you feel with not having your family just to yourself for very long...that never happens with us either and i think that the ket is just to cherish what you do get....but you're doing fine. don't be so hard on yourself. :)

Cordova Family said...

I'm glad you had a better day...hormones suck! We all have them, too bad they won't end after giving birth...but maybe after you don't have a huge bump in your tummy, life will seem a little simpler. MAYBE...but no guarantees!! You're a great mom and wife!!

Alex said...

I read your email that you sent out. I'm at work (where I read this email) and some coworkers saw it. They were just as heartbroken as I was. I feel like I have to do something about this, I mean, yes, pray, but I feel the urge to call Matt. I know I shouldn't. I won't. But it hurts me so much to see him hurting my brother like this. I wish I could just drive to Phoenix and take Zach and Kenzie and go away somewhere. That's my true wish.