Friday, September 15, 2006

Today was up and down for me. I woke up later than planned, but I still went and did my HIIT and it was awesome! I planned on doing the elliptical trainer but I did the treadmill instead. I actually felt like running and like that would give me more of a burn. And boy did it! It felt so good. I was panting and breathing so hard that the little old people were looking at me like I was about to have a heart attack. And my eating was perfect again today. I realized that one of the huge benefits of eating healthy is that I’m teaching my daughter to be healthy and exposing her to a wide range of healthy foods while she’s so young. She always wants to eat what I’m eating and I get so excited when she likes to eat things like tropical tuna sandwich, oatmeal, egg whites, oranges, apples, broccoli. I know it’s making such a difference to start her eating healthy so young. And it really makes me want to pat myself on the back for being a good mom. Another benefit is that I feel so great. I just feel like my insides are clean. I know that sounds weird, but it’s true. I feel really energized and satisfied.
I was late to Institute, but I’m so glad I went. It was wonderful. We learned about the government and organization of the Church, about family councils and about Zion and how we can establish it in our own home. I felt inspired to strive to start having family councils with Robert and especially when our family grows over the years. What a blessing to have that guidance. I never really even thought about having them. I also felt so touched by the quote by Spencer W. Kimball on how to establish Zion in our home. There were three steps and summed up they are: 1- don’t be selfish, 2- be one in purpose and heart and 3- be willing to sacrifice all that you have and are. These really made me think. I have a weakness with being selfish, I think ,and I really want to overcome that. And I realized I need to be more connected with Robert and communicate with him more about our lives and family goals and desires. We don’t really talk about that kind of stuff very often. And the third one really hit me hard. I felt like in a sense I have accomplished this point in that by me not working to stay home with Baily, we’re sacrificing a lot of extra income. But the blessing far succeeds the sacrifice. I think I need to be more supportive of my husband by being willing to sacrifice even more luxuries I might enjoy so he’s not so stressed about providing for the needs of our family. I also felt that as far as living with my in-laws at the time, I need to sacrifice some of my comfort by letting go of my bitterness and anger so that we may have the Spirit stronger in our home. I guess it means that I’m going to have to not sweat the small stuff or maybe even big stuff. I got so irritated today and just broke down because I really don’t like our living situation. But after talking to some of my wonderful family members- Beau, my dad, my mom and of course Robert, I’ve realized that I’m only going to have to live here a little while longer. I just need to endure faithfully and trust in the Lord with all my heart that He will take care of us and our needs as long as we’re doing our best to be obedient to His commandments and live righteously. So that’s what I need to focus on- obeying the commandments and living righteously (that means having charity for all no matter what- no matter how badly I feel I’ve been treated or taken advantage of). These things are what I need to focus on and not how uncomfortable or unhappy I’m choosing to be right now. I need to focus on my blessings which are so very many. I have the best husband and the most beautiful baby girl ever. We are all healthy and have all that we need and more. I live in a land full of freedom and liberty and without poverty or warfare or natural disaster. I live in a home and have transportation, food to eat, clothes to wear, music to listen to, anything I want to entertain me, beautiful music to listen to. I could go on for hours. So shame on me for being down and choosing to be bitter and frustrated. I’m going to live like I’m grateful for my blessings instead of ungrateful and selfish. I’m going to focus more on the happiness of others instead of poor little old me. And on a happy note, Robert suggested getting a car title loan so we could move into a rental house earlier than we planned and just using our tax refund to pay it off. That makes me so excited to think that we could possible move out so soon. Hopefully Robert will get a better paying job soon. We need the money so badly. But once again, I just need to have faith. We need to get our tithing caught up. I know that’s what’s hurting us. We’re so behind and it’s just eating at me. We need those blessings so badly! Thank heavens for repentance!

I can’t believe it’s already Thursday. As I was making my menu for next week, I was planning what I wanted to eat on Sunday for my free day. I was so shocked with myself because I had the hardest time deciding on what I really wanted and couldn’t really think of anything I’m craving. That is such a big accomplishment for me because on my previous attempts at this challenge I always just cannot wait for free day. I ache for it. Now I’m excited for it, but it’s not even that big of a deal. Wahoo! My life is changing and getting better. And I’m liking myself more and more… in a humble sort of way of course!

1 comment:

Janel said...

WOWee Look at you go!!! Keep that momentum going, girlie!! Its amazing how when you BFL program is in place, you feels so much ore in control of EVERYTHING, not just the food. I LOVE that about BFL. You are doing it!!!

I'm gonna pm you on TRACKER with my phone # K??