** Prepare yourselves for some venting. Ok... so I am so overwhelmed at this point in my life right now. I know it sounds lame, and I've realized through my feeling this way that I'm major OCD, but I'm going crazy with how far behind my blog is. It's seriously making me mental. And it's not just my blog. I'm behind on my house cleaning, my planner and goals, having my house unpacked and organized and decorated, most important of all- my mom's cards and letters and who knows what else. I seriously just need one day off, from my kids whom I adore but they won't let me have 2 minutes to myself, to just get things caught up and feel sane again. I'm frustrated that I don't live close to any of my family because I know they would help me out and give me some sane time. I'm gonna ask Robert to see if his mom can watch my kids for just one day while he's at work so that would give me a full day to get things done without having to start something and having to stop 3 minutes later to get a snack, wipe a nose, change a diaper, nurse, wash hands, hold and entertain... you know how it is. Even at night time when I think I'll have some me time, some quiet time- yeah, not so much. I'll just be getting into a blog post or updating my planner when my son needs to be nursed or Baily decides to wake up and demands that I lie down with her or she won't sleep. I love my blessing of being a stay at home mom- I do. But can a sister please just get ONE DAY OFF?! Just one day... that's all I'm asking. But here's how much of a freak I am. I know if I get this chance, Robert's mom watching my kids for a day, I will be getting things done all the time feeling guilty about not spending every second of my life with my kids and worrying that Joaquin won't take a bottle or Baily will be naughty and get in trouble (why is it that I can be mad at her and discipline her [which I do still feel a little guilty about] but when someone else does it it kills me?) or if they get hurt and I'm not there to help them. Can you say anxiety and someone get me some Prozac?! Ho hum... Even though I would be anxious I still think it would be worth it for my mental health and the overall vibe of my household for me to get a day off and just get caught up. When I feel caught up I feel great. I can keep on top of things, I feel motivated and I'm super successful and productive. But if I'm behind on something I just get overwhelmed and frustrated and crabby. It's not good I tell you. So really, I just need to get caught up on the things that are eating at me the most (ie. my blog and my unpacking) and I will be a whole new woman. I don't understand why I can't just let things go and not stress about them and pick up where I left off and not have the constant feelings of guilt, inadequacy and failure instead of being such a dang perfectionist. Oh yeah, that's right... I'm a woman. Ok. I think I'm done now. Thank you for "listening" to the ramblings of an overwhelmed, lunatic mom. That felt good.