Tuesday, February 06, 2007

It's been quite a long time since I wrote last. Oh well... no need on dwelling on the mistakes I make. I'll just learn from them and try harder. I started the 3rd week today of my BFL challenge. I'm doing so well and it feels wonderful. It's been a perfect challenge so far with no cheating and not missing any work-outs. It's been a big building of momentum for me in striving to have a perfect challenge. Of course if I do make a mistake I won't quit and start all over but I really am doing so great.

Today was squeaky clean and just as I planned. The only thing different was that my baby spinach went bad so I coudn't use it for my baked chicken parmesan. I was too tired to make a whole salad so I just had to stalks of celery... had to get my two servings of veggies in. For some reason I was extremely tired today. I mean I didn't get much sleep but I'm kind of used to that. Maybe it's just premenstrual syndrome... It did feel great to get back to eating clean today after that yucky free day yesterday.

Anyway, here's my info:
M1- 3 egg whites and 1 whole egg scrambled, oatmeal with splenda and cinnamon, multivitamin
2- AdvantEDGE carb control RTD, apple
3- left-over EFL beef & barley soup
4- FF cherry yogurt with LF cottage cheese
5- EFL baked chicken parmesan (sooo yummy- I finally got it just right this time!), 2 stalks celery
6- myoplex lite RTD
104 oz. H2O
I finished my LBWO from Friday since I couldn't then because my baby wasn't cooperating at the care center. I also did a killer UBWO... I'm so sore right now and I love it. I could barely wash my hair and put deodorant on. I switched up the exercises a little bit. I definitely hit all my high points. So all in all it has been another perfect day in the books. Maybe tomorrow I'll have my energy back!

I'm really going to do better and concentrate more on being more patient with my little Baily. I have such a hard time, and I feel guilty for even saying this, but I have a hard time not being able to have time for myself. I feel like Baily is requiring 100% of time and it's a hard adjustment for me not to be able to do things I want to get done when I want them to get done. And it wears on me picking up after every second of her waking day. And she doesn't nap much during the day and when she does I have to put her to sleep which can take up to an hour sometimes. Now I know it sounds like I'm complaining but honestly I'm just trying to adjust to this as a new mom. Well new mom to a 1 1/2 year old anyway. It seems like lately I've been having a break-down every day because I just get so tired. And then I feel so guilty and like a horrible mother for yelling at my sweet, innocent baby. I'm just so grateful I don't have to do it alone and that I have prayer and the power of the Atonement to help me with the challenging time in my life. I love my baby girl more than I can ever possibly explain which is why I struggle with this weakness I have of being impatient and losing it sometimes. But I will do better and rely more on my Savior for help because I want my daughter to have the best mommy ever. She deserves it!

Oh dear. I'm so very tired and since I'm at work I have a long night ahead of me. The positive thing about working this shift is that I have to be up by 5AM and I leave by 6 so I can go straight to the gym and get my workout done with first thing in the morning. Here's to another perfect BFL day and a much better mom day tomorrow!

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