I’ve been busy, busy. I’m doing great with the challenge so far. Saturday was a little bit of a slip up, but I must say I’ve exercised amazing mind muscle and will power which is a major accomplishment for me. I’ve been seconds away from quitting the challenge and putting it off yet again but I’ve stuck with it. I can’t help but get the thoughts and feelings of my unhappiness before I started out of my head every time I think about quitting which is exactly what I wanted to do in that situation. We are so broke but I’ve been able to get some money for baby-sitting my cousin Becca’s kids for a couple hours a day this week. I was able to get my groceries for only $46. I did have some food left-over from last week and my menu is a little boring but it’s a sacrifice I’m definitely willing to make. I also decided to try to start using Trim Spa as a supplement. I’m pretty hesitant about it having side effects or just being a waste of money, but I decided to give it a try. It was pretty cheap too. Tonight I went to Emely’s birthday dinner at Old Country Buffet. There were so many tempting treats, but I’m so, so proud of myself for eating clean. I had a couple bites of unauthorized food but I did awesome and exercised some major will power. I’m so into the BFL zone right now… like I’ve never, ever been before. I am constantly trying to visualize accomplishing my goals and am so ready to give it all I have… and I’m doing it! It feels great. I’m actually starting to develop some confidence in myself that I will actually follow through on this. I’m truly, truly excited. I noticed today how happy I am. I’m just happy and content right now. I feel almost a new zest for life… and it’s only the second week!
BFL isn’t my only reason for this change in attitude and feeling right now. I’m doing so well about keeping all my goals/resolutions. No, I haven’t been perfect, but my attitude of not giving up and willing to accept mistakes and move on, is making all the difference. I feel more productive and grateful.
I’m grateful for the opportunity to watch Becca’s kids this week. She has done so much for me and it’s nice to be able to give something back… even though she’s paying me. It seems like this week I just got super, duper busy and it doesn’t seem like it’s going to let up any time soon. But I love to be busy.
I have a test for a company tomorrow called Transcipt Express. We’re hoping that if it works out, I will be able to do a little work from home so we can overcome these financial problems we are having. I hate money!! We’re solely surviving on pure faith right now that Heavenly Father is going to help through this rut and get caught up on our bills. Especially our tithing. I hate that we ever let ourselves get behind… we have done so well all year- perfect even. We so badly need the blessings of tithing. I just need to trust Him that he’ll help us do what’s right. I don’t like to dwell on this though because I choose to stress out about it. So right now I’m just doing all that I can as far as learning about and pursuing these opportunities to make some extra income without having to leave my home and baby, and having faith in Christ. Robert had some testing tomorrow for a job with the post office and few possible opportunities through a colleague of his. I know something will come out of all this if we are just faithful and obedient. So that's that’s what we’ll do. At least I know that’s what I’ll do. I can’t really speak for him on this.
I really need to go to sleep now. I’ve been up way too late lately. I realize very much that I need to control this addiction I have of spending so much time on the Internet… especially with the blogs and BFL tracker! I need to be more productive! But in the spirit of focusing on progress and strengths I am doing much better as a person and liking who I am so much more than a mere couple of weeks ago!

It was an ok day today. I didn’t get up early enough of plan for a sitter for Baily to do my workout first thing this morning since Robert goes into work at 5am on Fridays and Saturdays. So when I woke up I got to feed and change and clean up my baby. After she took a little nap, Cande said she would watch Baily so I went to the library and then worked out. While I was at the library I ran into Haylee Moore… the second time I’ve run into her there. Anyway, we scheduled for me to come by her place on Tuesday so she can talk to me about Pampered Chef. It seems like it could possible be a good opportunity but I’m just not sure if it’s something I want to do because I hate selling people stuff… especially my friends and family. But we’ll see how it goes. I had an AMAZING UBWO. I really tried to make it a mentally focused workout and man did that make all the difference. I definitely, truly hit my 10’s. It felt sooo good. The rest of the day I tended to my sweet baby. She’s starting to get sick. She was starting to get warm throughout the day and her temp was 101 tonight. I really hope she’s not coming down with something bad. There’s nothing worse than having a sick baby. I spent all day pretty much holding her while she dozed off and on. Poor baby. The only thing productive I did today was eat my planned healthy meals which I feel great about. I took advantage of the downtime though and watched some tube. It was kinda nice… mostly the part of just bonding and snuggling with my baby. She’s the best! Oh and I got called from the transcript express work from home place today too. I’m supposed to go in next Wednesday morning to take a typing test and go over a sort of orientation thing. We’ll see how it goes. I’m really going to need to practice my typing because right now I’m at about 58 net words per minute and I’m supposed to be at about 60… and I told the lady I do 65. Yikes! And then my cousin Becca called me tonight and asked if I’d be willing to watch her kids while she’s out of town next week with her husband and her mom, my aunt, is working. She offered to pay me $100. I hate to take it and even told her she didn’t need to pay me, but she insisted. I’m so grateful for that. I’ve decided that I’m going to use that money all for tithing. I’ve been praying for opportunities to get fully caught up on our tithing so we can have the blessings that we so badly need from paying our tithing. And then all three of these opportunities happened today. I have such a strong testimony of answer to prayer and today was just another witness to that testimony. Tomorrow’s going to be busy. I have my cousin’s baby shower and Robert goes to work early again so I will be on my own with finding the right time to work out. I think Cande will be willing to watch her for about ½ an hour though. I just hope my baby doesn’t get really sick and that she’s just got a little bug or a tooth coming in. I hate it when she feels yucky!

Today was up and down for me. I woke up later than planned, but I still went and did my HIIT and it was awesome! I planned on doing the elliptical trainer but I did the treadmill instead. I actually felt like running and like that would give me more of a burn. And boy did it! It felt so good. I was panting and breathing so hard that the little old people were looking at me like I was about to have a heart attack. And my eating was perfect again today. I realized that one of the huge benefits of eating healthy is that I’m teaching my daughter to be healthy and exposing her to a wide range of healthy foods while she’s so young. She always wants to eat what I’m eating and I get so excited when she likes to eat things like tropical tuna sandwich, oatmeal, egg whites, oranges, apples, broccoli. I know it’s making such a difference to start her eating healthy so young. And it really makes me want to pat myself on the back for being a good mom. Another benefit is that I feel so great. I just feel like my insides are clean. I know that sounds weird, but it’s true. I feel really energized and satisfied.

I was late to Institute, but I’m so glad I went. It was wonderful. We learned about the government and organization of the Church, about family councils and about Zion and how we can establish it in our own home. I felt inspired to strive to start having family councils with Robert and especially when our family grows over the years. What a blessing to have that guidance. I never really even thought about having them. I also felt so touched by the quote by Spencer W. Kimball on how to establish Zion in our home. There were three steps and summed up they are: 1- don’t be selfish, 2- be one in purpose and heart and 3- be willing to sacrifice all that you have and are. These really made me think. I have a weakness with being selfish, I think ,and I really want to overcome that. And I realized I need to be more connected with Robert and communicate with him more about our lives and family goals and desires. We don’t really talk about that kind of stuff very often. And the third one really hit me hard. I felt like in a sense I have accomplished this point in that by me not working to stay home with Baily, we’re sacrificing a lot of extra income. But the blessing far succeeds the sacrifice. I think I need to be more supportive of my husband by being willing to sacrifice even more luxuries I might enjoy so he’s not so stressed about providing for the needs of our family. I also felt that as far as living with my in-laws at the time, I need to sacrifice some of my comfort by letting go of my bitterness and anger so that we may have the Spirit stronger in our home. I guess it means that I’m going to have to not sweat the small stuff or maybe even big stuff. I got so irritated today and just broke down because I really don’t like our living situation. But after talking to some of my wonderful family members- Beau, my dad, my mom and of course Robert, I’ve realized that I’m only going to have to live here a little while longer. I just need to endure faithfully and trust in the Lord with all my heart that He will take care of us and our needs as long as we’re doing our best to be obedient to His commandments and live righteously. So that’s what I need to focus on- obeying the commandments and living righteously (that means having charity for all no matter what- no matter how badly I feel I’ve been treated or taken advantage of). These things are what I need to focus on and not how uncomfortable or unhappy I’m choosing to be right now. I need to focus on my blessings which are so very many. I have the best husband and the most beautiful baby girl ever. We are all healthy and have all that we need and more. I live in a land full of freedom and liberty and without poverty or warfare or natural disaster. I live in a home and have transportation, food to eat, clothes to wear, music to listen to, anything I want to entertain me, beautiful music to listen to. I could go on for hours. So shame on me for being down and choosing to be bitter and frustrated. I’m going to live like I’m grateful for my blessings instead of ungrateful and selfish. I’m going to focus more on the happiness of others instead of poor little old me. And on a happy note, Robert suggested getting a car title loan so we could move into a rental house earlier than we planned and just using our tax refund to pay it off. That makes me so excited to think that we could possible move out so soon. Hopefully Robert will get a better paying job soon. We need the money so badly. But once again, I just need to have faith. We need to get our tithing caught up. I know that’s what’s hurting us. We’re so behind and it’s just eating at me. We need those blessings so badly! Thank heavens for repentance!

I can’t believe it’s already Thursday. As I was making my menu for next week, I was planning what I wanted to eat on Sunday for my free day. I was so shocked with myself because I had the hardest time deciding on what I really wanted and couldn’t really think of anything I’m craving. That is such a big accomplishment for me because on my previous attempts at this challenge I always just cannot wait for free day. I ache for it. Now I’m excited for it, but it’s not even that big of a deal. Wahoo! My life is changing and getting better. And I’m liking myself more and more… in a humble sort of way of course!

She loooves peanut butter. She loves to share it too!

She's so proud to be walking. My baby's getting to be a big girl!

Could she possibly be any more adorable?